Thursday, December 13, 2012

December 13, 2012

HAVING ADDRESSED THE PERRY PROBLEM YESTERDAY, I WILL NOW GET INTO A REALLY DANGEROUS DISCUSSION.
 
IT IS ABOUT POO.- AND THE COLLECTION THEREOF.
IN YESTERDAYS WALKAROUND  I ZEROED IN ON  A TIDY PUPPY PILE OF POO  AND NOT ONE OF YOU QUESTIONED ABOUT THE SEQUEL TO THE PRODUCTION...
 THIS S A VERY SERIOUS DISCUSSION.....ON A TOPIC ON WHICH I CONSIDER MYSELF AN EXPERT.
 
YOU SAW ONE LITTLE 1/3 CUP PILE- SOUROUNDED BY 16 PUPS WHO PRODUCE AT LEAST 5 OF THOSE PILES DAILY- BOTH AT CONVENIENT AND INCONVENIENT TIMES
 
AT THE CONVENIENT TIMES,  WE REMOVE THE PILE BY THE SCRAPE, LIFT, AND DEPOSIT  METHOD- WITH 2 PIECES OF CARDBOARD.-- OR THERE ARE A VERY FEW.... ON THE GRASS----WHERE WE  GRAB AND INVERT THE  GROCERY BAG... 
 
NOW BECAUSE OF THE GENEROUSITY OF ALL THE CAMERA PEOPLE COMBINED WITH THE RELAIBLITY OF THE UPS TRUDK WE HAVE A LARGE SUPPLY OF CAREFULLY CUT  BROWN BOX TYPE CARDBOARD.
 
PERSONALLY, I KNOW THAT THICK CARDBOARD WORKS ADEQUATELY  -- AND A SIDEWAYS SWIPE OF THE CARDBOARD OFTEN SAVES  THE ADDITION OF A PAPERTOWEL ON THE INDOOR PILES. BUT THE CADILAC OF POO PICKING IS THE CEREAL BOX CARDBOARD.... CAREFULLY CUT INTO RECTANGLES 3" X 6" ( AND INDEX CARDS ARE NOT A SUBSTITUTE-- TOO FLABBY)
 
I HAVE STUDIED THE SIZE--- IT IS VERY SPECIFIC   3" WILL FIT IN MOST BLUE JEANS BACK POCKET, AND 6" WILL ACCOMODATE  BOTH PUPS AND THE ADULT DOGS... WE HAVE 30 ISH ADULTS COMING AND GOING.
 
FOR THOSE ADULTS- INCLUDING THOSE IN TRAINING-   WE MUST BE PREPARED FOR AN INCONVENIENT PRODUCTION - DOESN'T HAPPEN OFTEN-- BUT ONCE WILL BE ENOUGH.
 
THE 3" WIDE CARDBOARD ALLOW US TO USE THE CARDBOARD TO  STUFF 2 PLASTIC BAGS INTO OUR BACK POCKETS- SO THAT IF AN EMERGENCY ARRISES WE CAN YANK THE PLASTIC BAG AND THE CARDBOARD IS DELIVERED FOR IMMEDIATE USE.
 
THIS TECHNIQUE WAS BEST DEMO' THE DAY PAUL AND I  EXITED AN ELEVATOR IN THE  LAHEY HOSPITAL   AND THE PUP WE HAD WITH US VOMITED
- WE BOTH YANKED AND SCOOPED AND  THE TIME START TO FINISH  WAS  6  SECONDS- PEOPLE NEVER KNEW-
OTHER PROFESSIONAL TECHNIQUES INCLUDE SLOWLY MOVING A SHOPPING CART OVER THE PILE SO  YOU HAVE TIME TO BE CASUAL.
 
 AS FOR MALES AND  FLUID PRODUCTION-- BOTH MEGAN AND I HAVE TRIED GRABBING THAT FIREHOSE TO SHUT IT OFF-  THAT DOES NOT WORK.  IT IS VERY AMUSING TO THE SURROUNDING PUBLIC  BUT THAT YELLOW FLUID KEEPS COMING.
 
SO BACK TO  THE PROBLEM CARDBOARDS...
 
WE CAN EAT JUST SO MUCH CEREAL-  BUT... THERE IS THE CAMERA CROWD !!!
I CERTAINLY DO NOT WANT TO DISRUPT THE GENEROUSITY WITH THE MONEY DONATIONS   ... BUT LETS LOOK AT THE NUMBERS  OF CARDBOARD NNEEDED... 
 
16 PUPS 5 PILES A DAY + 2 PIECES OF CEREAL CARDBOARD = 160   FOR JUST THE PUPS  DAILY
 ANOTHER 30 ADULTS WITH MAYBE 2 PILES EACH X 2 CARDBOARDS = 120
A FEW LOOSE STOOLS AND WE ARE LOOKING AT 300 PIECES OF CEREAL CARDBOARDS A DAY
 
DAY AFTER DAY AFTER DAY
 
 THE OTHER DETAIL IS  ONE SIDE OF THE CEREAL CARDBOARD SHOULD  BE STRAIGHT- TO BE A BETTER SCRAPING DEVICE.
 
  THEY FIT IN A #10 ENVELOPE -- I REALISE WHAT I AM SAYING-- BUT WE HAVE A NEED FOR MANY.. PLEASE STAY TUNED TO SEE IF I HAVE TO STOP  THE MAILING.. ... LETS SEE HOW THIS WORKS
 
SH#T HAPPENS-- WE DEAL.... 
 
SERVICE DOG PROJECT
37 BOXFORD RD.
IPSWICH, MA  01938

4 comments:

  1. This post is really funny because I have started cutting cereal boxes for you all a couple of months back to send as kind of a, "hahahaha" gift....then the colder weather hit and I've been using those boxes to help stoke a fire in our wood stove.. :o/ ...so it is back to cutting :o) Do these work for the "mudpies" too??
    Tami J.....Havadane-OR

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  2. GUESS IT'S A GOOD THING I HAVE A PAPER CUTTER! I'LL HAVE TO ROUND UP CEREAL BOXES FROM FRIENDS, THOUGH, AS I DON'T EAT IT. WONDER WHAT THE CUSTOMS SERVICES WILL THINK ABOUT IT WHEN THEY START OPENING LETTERS FILLED WITH PIECES OF CARDBOARD!!

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  3. This I can do, and so happy to help out!

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  4. Does it HAVE to be cereal boxes or just boxes of that same cardboard weight ?? (ex: shoe box, Rice-a-Roni box, box from a 12 pack of pop, Ritz crackers box)... I don't want to assume anything....hahaha .....Thank You for your time.... Jacqui in MN

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