Wednesday, February 12, 2014

FEB 12,2014
TRACY CALLED-- SHE IS USING THE   T-UP WORDS  SO I TOLD  HER WE HAD NO EXTRA BUCKETS FOR THAT - SO STAY HOME.

YOU ALL HAVE NO IDEA OF HOW MUCH SMARTER I WOULD BE IF I COULD REMEMBER THE DETAILS OF ALL THE MISTAKES I HAVE MADE...  IT WAS PROBABLY WILL ROGERS  WHO  SAID " EXPERIENCE COMES FROM BAD EXPERIENCES"  

YESTERDAY WHEN I WAS TRYING TO FIT THE NEW TRACTOR DOWN THE HORSE ALLEYWAY  I RAN INTO A PILE OF INSULATION AND PLYWOOD..  I KNEW  IT WAS WRONG--- I HAD NOT YET REMEMBERED WHY IT WAS WRONG-- BUT I HAD ONE OF THOSE "WHOA" MOMENTS  WHERE I REALIZED IT WAS TIME TO HAVE A CUP OF COFFEE AND TALK TO A BUNCH OF PEOPLE WHO MIGHT GIVE ME INPUT TO ADD TO MY INSTINCTS OF "NO WAY IS THIS THE RIGHT THING TO DO."...  I HAD NOT  YET REMEMBERED  WHY... SOMETIMES AT 76 IT TAKES A WHILE-- THAT IS SOMETHING YOU ALL JUST HAVE TO GET USED TO... 

THEN I REMEMBERED GISELLE...

AS I OPENED MY FILE DRAWER ONE DAY TO HAND A PAPER TO THERESA, WE BOTH WERE SHOCKED TO BE INTRODUCED TO GISELLE--- A FAT AND HAPPY GREY RAT... NOT A HUGE ONE...

RAN ACROSS MY KEYBOARD ON HER SHOPPING TRIP TO THE KITCHEN.  THERE WAS ONLY ONE--AND AS WE STUDIED HER WE FOUND SHE STORED 4 LARGE MILK BONES PER NIGHT IN  THE BACK OF MY FILE CABINET WHERE I KEEP  "RECORDS-- LOST ALPHABETICALLY"  

THERESA WAS NOT THRILLED-- BUT KNOWING  SHE LIVED THERE WE ADJUSTED OUR LIVES AROUND HERS...  IF THE IRS CAME ROUND ASKING ABOUT SEEING OUR RECORDS... I FIGURED I WAS READY...

BUT GISELLE DID NOT  BELIEVE IN PLANNED PARENTHOOD  AND REFUSED TO TAKE THE  BIRTH CONTROL PILL WE LEFT FOR HER.... SO SOON SHE WANTED TO MOVE TO  "A BIGGER PLACE WHERE HER CHILDREN COULD GET PROPER EXERCISE"  SO  BY CHEWING THRU A 2X 6  HER  HUSBAND SET UP LIVING QUARTERS UNDER THE HOT WATER INLET OF THE WASHING MACHINE .  THIS   ENABLED  THEM TO COMMUTE TO THE GARAGE WHERE OCCASIONALLY WE STORED DOG FOOD-- AND THE PRIZED MILK  BONES. ALL WAS FAIRLY QUIET AS SHE WAS NO LONGER RUNNING ACRSS MY KEYBOARD AT INOPPORTUNE MOMENTS.. AND I FORGOT ABOUT HER.  

WASSOWHATFORE DAY - WHICH IS THE RAT EQUIVELENT OF THANKSGIVING DAY- ALL HER RELATIVES CAME IN.. FROM THE FOREST ( AND THE CHICKEN COOP)  - AND FOUND THE LIVING SO AGREEABLE THAT THEY NEVER WENT HOME.

THE POINT OF ALL THIS   IS THAT ... BEING TALL, WHEN WE BUILT THIS HOUSE I FIGURED IT WAS A SIMPLE THING TO STAND A 2X6 ON IT'S SIDE, CAP IT WITH  1/2 " PLYWOOD-- THEN ADD THE CABINETS COUNTERS ETC NORMALLY.
IT HAS BEEN  A GREATLY ADMIRED  BACK SAVER   CONCEPT SINCE I DID IT   IN 1979-

THEN IN ABOUT 2008  WHEN GISELLE AND HER FAMILY BEGAN TO ENJOY  THE  UNUSED-- AND UN ACCESSIBLE SPACE,   IT WAS NECESSARY  TO BORROW A JACK RUSSELL DOG-- KNOWN FOR HER ACCOMPLISHMENTS IN THE RAT WORLD-- SHE NOT ONLY  IDENTIFIED THE  EXACT LOCATION OF THEIR HOMES, BUT SHE BIT EVERY PERSON AND GREAT DANE  ON TH E PROPERTY-- SHE WAS A PROFESSIONAL AND WANTED NO INTERFERENCE WITH HER CHOSEN PROFESSION. 

WITH THOUGHT IT SEEMED WISE TO PURCHASE A DOOR KNOB DRILLING DEVICE  SO WE COULD POKE A VACUUM HOSE IN THE HOLE-  
AS I CRAWLED AROUND THE  FLOOR ISSUING EVICTION NOTICES TO THE MANY RESIDENTS- I REALIZED  UNUSED AND UN ACCESSIBLE IS AN OPEN INVITATION TO AN OVERWHELMING   INVASION  OF FOREIGN TOURISTS.  THE INSULATION  CAREFULLY  STAPLED TO THE RAFTERS IN THE CELLAR WAS LITERALLY THE STOMPING GROUND FOR DOZENS  OF STOMPERS... AND HAD TO BE PULLED DOWN--- YOU CAN  STILL SEE BITS OF PINK/KRAFT PAPER STILL STUCK TO THE RAFTERS...

WITH THAT IN MIND... A DEAD AIR SPACE MAY BE A WONDERFUL INSULATING CONCEPT-- BUT IT IS MADE EVEN MORE ATTRACTIVE TO RATS BY PROVIDING NICE FLUFFY PINK  STUFF  IN WHICH THEY THRIVE.

" GISELLE AND FAMILY "  IS NOT A CONCEPT ANY CITY PERSON COULD BE EXPECTED TO ANTICIPATE.. WHICH IS WHY MEGAN AND DAVID DECIDED  THAT RE DOING THOSE WALLS  MAKES SENSE... AND IT WOULD -- EXCEPT HERE...  I KNOW THAT ...  I LEARNED  TO CONSIDER IT THE DAY I PULLED DOWN AS MUCH RAT "ORZO"  AS PINK FIBERGLASS IN MY CELLAR.....  IT WAS HORRIBLE.

THERE IS PLENTY OF PLACE TO USE THE INSULATION AND PLYWOOD ... NAMELY THE SPACE BETWEEN THE RAFTERS AT THE CIELING--- AND THEN KEEP OUR EYES UP...

WHICH GOES TO SUGGEST  ANY CONSTRUCTION ABOVE THE LEVEL OF "REPAIR EXISTING"  SHOULD BE RUN BY ME TO BE SURE I DON'T HAVE SOME  FACTS IN MY MISTAKE FILE  THAT WOULD  HELP THE DECISION....

I.E..... ASK ME... AND GIVE ME TIME TO REMEMBER WHAT I MAY HAVE FORGOTTEN.

2 comments:

  1. I read recently that older brains are slower as they are just filled up with so much...like our computers get slow when there is too much on them... Don't know if it's true, but I like the way it sounds!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am laughing soo hard. You are a great storyteller. Brings back memories of our 1 unobtrusive rat friend.

    ReplyDelete